Mortal Kombat II: The Best People Are Sometimes Cunts
The heroism of saying: I have been through hell, so please stop asking me to be pleasant
Mortal Kombat II is available now to stream on HBO max and I was so excited to start watching it. I was really pleasantly surprised by the previous edition and was eager to see Karl Urban play Johny Cage, and it did not disappoint
For this review, I wanna start with one of my favorite moments, but really, the whole movie is the spectacle we deserve, the sets, gore, fatalities, perfect
Heroes get to be Cunts
In the movie, Kano helps Johny get the amulet and then we get this exchange:
Johny: How do we destroy it?
Kano: [pauses] Well, fucked if I know!
Johny: What do you mean, you don't know?
Kano: Hey, I found it for you! Do I have to do everything?
Johny: But this is your plan!
Kano: Don't talk to me like that. Why don't you check the instructions on the back?
Johny: Oh yeah, yeah. That's a good idea. Oh, here we go, look! "One ring to rule them all, one ring to GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Kano: Ha ha ha, why don't you leave the jokes to me? You can stick to being a cunt!
I feel like this exchange captures the message of the movie about heroism, many times the people who save the world are not good people; fairy tales love knights in shining armor, religions pretend that their founders are holy
In our world, deeply irritating people with beautiful jawlines, sunglasses and awful attitude are dismissed. Johnny Cage is interesting because his character arc is not about becoming a better person
In a traditional hero journey, the main character begins by doubting himself, then towards the end of the movie he discovers his courage, rescues the princess, defeats the villain and returns home to a lovely village as a noble person
Johnny Cage says fuck to that
The women in this movie are not waiting around to be rescued by Johnny Cage, many of them kick his ass and threaten his life. There's no romance on his journey
He was a hero, in a way, a martial artist, a famous actor, charismatic, funny, immature, a jaded person. A much stranger journey
His problem is not that he lacks potential, more so that he does not know what to do with it. So he creates a persona, a barrier to avoid being sincere, and when finally confronted with his calling, he's too scared
Cunts like him, to me are saying: “I have already given everything, and I am furious that you still want me to be cheerful about it.”
I went through hell. I saved the world. And now you want me to be a fucking inspirational speaker?
Seeing Johny Cage here was just like his character on The Boys, the Butcher, both men understand contempt as a way of surviving disappointment. Both have seen enough of the world to become suspicious of anyone who asks them to be noble about it
Butcher looks at the world and says: if the world is run by monsters, and we need to defeat this monsters, I must be like them, worse that them
Johnny Cage looks at the world and says: if everything is monstrous, then I am still going to make fun of it
Is a slight difference that I think makes Johnny Cage very interesting, while Butcher sees it as a pass to manipulate everyone and distant himself from the rest, Johny is capable of self reflection and courage to connect with the heroes he's working with
At the end, when he's channeling his powers, he finally feels like calling himself Johnny Cage; like in Scott Pilgrim vs the world, the lesson is to become better for yourself before anyone else, like in the green lantern with Ryan Reynolds, they all realize that your full potential cannot be realized if you're seeking external validation
And they finally see on themselves what others saw before
The glasses are ridiculous. They are vanity. They are the old movie-star performance. They are the thing that says: I am still Johnny Cage, even here, even now, even with the universe collapsing around me. But in that scene the meaning is different, he's not hiding anymore
No goodness, no humility, not bravery, an acknowledgement of his power and the courage to fulfill his destiny
Mortal Kombat II is more interesting than it has any right to be, underneath the satisfying gore, the fatalities, the beautiful sets, the ridiculous costumes, and the glorious seriousness with which everyone approaches the most ridiculous possible situation, there is a genuinely good idea about heroism
You do not have to become a saint, obedient, memorize a book, kneel or give a good speech. Trust your crew, rescue each other, collaborate, do it the way you know how to do it, pragmatic.
If you have spent your entire life performing a version of yourself, being difficult, afraid, vain, angry; even if people dislike you, even if you hate yourself and feel like you've wasted your potential, any day there could be a new opportunity to start again and discover your inner power
You wanna know my power? For the first time in my life, I am Johnny fucking Cage
The movie delivers the gore. It delivers the fatalities. It delivers the spectacle. It delivers exactly the kind of beautiful, excessive violence you came to see.
Literal Cinema rating: 10/10.
The movie is ridiculous, is violent, is magnificent, and Johnny Cage is fucking Johnny Cage
